If we wanted to be free from stress, what would we be doing, how would we be thinking, how would we be behaving? Where would we be living perhaps?
What would we need in our lives, and have an absence of, to minimise stress and maximise wellbeing?
We've acknowledged before that this is an individual area, in that what stresses me won't necessarily stress you, it's down to the individual. However, there are likely to be factors - situations, life events, circumstances, thinking styles - that are common denominators, and will contribute to or detract from our wellbeing. We've looked previously at what makes up psychological wellbeing, for example, here are the the factors included in psychologist Carol Ryff's model:
- personal growth
- self-acceptance
- autonomy
- environmental mastery
- positive relationships
- purpose in life
If you scored highly in all of these spheres, it's likely that stress wouldn't be an issue for you. It may be that we don't have much control - or we feel like we don't - in one or more of the spheres. It's important to remember, isn't it, that this can be a 'work in progress', and making small steps/improvements in each area is more likely to produce results, and momentum and satisfaction, rather than trying and expecting to achieve overnight success.
Let's get on with designing our stress-free person. Once we've done that, we'll probably be acknowledging that being 100% stress-free is nigh on impossible, and that in fact getting worked up, angry, frustrated, worried, anxious etc etc is part of everyday life, and what's more we want to experience the ups and downs, and hopefully learn from them. (What we're looking to do is to ensure that those feelings don't get in the way of our leading and enjoying our lives the way we want to). Here are some of the elements that might promote wellbeing and prevent stress:
Being healthy
Living by the sea/in the mountains
Having children
Having a loving partner
Having and keeping in contact with a circle of friends
Being a member of a club (golf/tennis/reading etc)
Going to the cinema once a week
Going to the theatre once a month
Visiting family once a month
Holidaying twice a year
Having a rewarding job
Working a maximum of 30 hours per week
Religious worship once a week
Reading regularly
Walking regularly
Owning a big house
Owning a pet
Having a coffee/a drink with a friend once a month
Taking regular exercise
Eating healthily
Having a regular sleep pattern
Spoiling yourself occasionally
Being good to yourself
Having a healthy lifestyle
Having an optimistic outlook
Being wealthy
Having intelligence
Having a resilient personality
Having regular sex
Having varied interests/hobbies
How many of these would you include if you were designing the most stress-free life for someone? You maybe think some are important, others less so. And you can no doubt add many, many factors that are not included here, which you think are important.
The purpose of the exercise here is to get you to think about what criteria you would include above. Having done that, can you try and include them in your own lives? What needs to happen to make that happen? And do you need to prioritise? As above, some are more achievable than others, and we have to be realistic and not be discouraged by what seem to be unattainable goals (maybe those can be longer term targets). 
